Message In Stanza

Poetry and Musings

What do most people do when they find out your lost a loved one? They offer their condolences by saying they are sorry and maybe hug you as well. But what if it’s just an average day and the sun is out and bright. You may struggle with anxiety disorder or depression from time to time. Life just gets you down some days.

People may see your down casted face and in attempt to help after you tell them you are stressed, “If you think too much that can cause stress.” Or if you are depressed they may say, “Look at what a beautiful day it is. Be thankful for such a beautiful day.

These are all accurate statements. But most people when they are in funk don’t want to hear these statements.

One time I went to a church that was very encouraging. We also met in a small group once a week. The leader of the group made sure that when one person was sharing their day no one interrupted or gave their opinions but merely listened. I can’t tell you how that helped me! Seeing people come into the heart of my hard place of life. How my spirits were lifted.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

I remember sharing with this group a teacher who verbally abused me. She gave me the silent treatment when I didn’t know how to solve a problem. She wasn’t giving me space to try to figure it out on my own because I would forget the steps and she wouldn’t remind me of them. After I told this to the group and I was expecting my usual response from people. The people saying, “I am sorry” but because it was a long time ago they also make comments about “letting it go.” But this group was different. They went back to those painful memories with me like they were right alongside me in my memoires. One was a teacher and said the way I treated was “not acceptable.”

My point in bringing this up is what if everyone listened to other’s problems without taking it on too much themselves, but tried to ask questions to show interest and compassion.

If you think someone is feeling sorry for themselves, be with them in that moment and the low feelings may evaporate more quickly and not escalate.

I love being alone because I can feel my own thoughts, the good, bad, or ugly and no one will judge me. If I have an off day by myself I won’t judge myself for it but with others around I will judge myself for that same thought. I would do this because I feel like people will correct me for it and I have “quickly” fix it by telling myself I am having a bad thought. But that sometimes that stops me from talking about it with others, with eases them but it causes more emotional pain inside.

I am being real transparent with you WordPress community in this musing. 🙂 I have been rejected so many times. By people, by letters, etc. and I am asking God to give me grace to forgive people and move on and not judge them but it’s hard.

People can be so critical. One time I was at a coffee house and I was listening to music on my phone with headsets and while I was there they put on loud music. I kindly asked the guy to turn it down and he did. But I felt awkward. I know people don’t ask for such request but why are we so shy? If we were to ask them to turn off the music that would be rude. When you ask someone for a simple and reasonable but uncommon request, why do they look at you funny and feel uncomfortable around you?

This world isn’t fair and this isn’t anything new. But what do I do to be more at peace? Has anyone else felt what I expressed in this musing about social nuances and exaggerated etiquette? We do these in the name of bypassing social rigidness but we just as rigid as a society.

I had to vent, WordPress community. You know I love you guys. 🙂 What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree or disagree?

5 thoughts on “Repellent to Others’ Sadness

  1. Sadje says:

    There are times in the lives of us all when we feel down, sad or down right depressed. It maybe due to one specific event or it may be a phase in our lives. It is true that the people who are around us, may not understand this or the causes of this phase, so they try to make us an offering of their support. They may not have the right words or the phrases but they do mean well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carly says:

      Completely agree but sometimes people may come across like they understand but they don’t. They want to help though. Sometimes listening is the best thing one can do.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sadje says:

        Exactly. They do want to help but don’t know how!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It is pretty cool when another person can understand you at that moment, or understand where you are coming from, and I think your posts highlights that well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carly says:

      Thank you, David! 🙂 You can’t be understood every moment but it’s important and nice when you are.

      Like

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