Message In Stanza

Have you ever read the newspaper The Onion before? I created my own satire article here for Funny Fridays from the made-up newspaper: The Egg.

Here is the article:

Mrs. Wong of Little Rock, Arkansas created her own AFR (academic for readiness) test for her students. It’s the Arkansas assessment test. Her students were performing poorly on all the school subjects like math and English, which shocked the parents and Mrs. Wong herself. She thought creating a new test may be beneficial and the school board agreed and the state agreed. She designed more practical life subjects like gardening, yoga, nature, and nature on a brand new AFR test. All the kids got high scores. The Egg asked Mrs. Wong why:

Her response was:, “Because they actually learned something from their studies for this test. Like: lilacs need a lot of sunlight, too many nightshades like tomatoes can be bad for you, yoga can increase circulation and lower anxiety, etc. This is practical knowledge that can be utilized in a practical manner. Now that my students know nightshades can be bad for you they may try to stay away from those them. But knowing 270,000 minus 50,000,000 is 49,730,000 might help if you want to be an account or engineer but some of my students may have other career paths in mind. Not everyone is destined to be the next rich person, working with ridiculous numbers and aspire to make tons of money. Some want the simple life. Some want to be gardeners or artists. So this AFR test has reaped a lot of wonderful and unexpected benefits.”

Here is one student’s report:

Hannah said, “Mrs. Wong came up this AFR test and I learned so much. If Johnny walked two miles to school and 4 miles to the store. How many miles is that altogether? I have graduated beyond that. I am doing yoga and gardening for the first time in my life! I can’t wait to hear about the most exotic waterfalls next year! If it wasn’t for this AFT test, I would have never studied these subjects in depth. I love assessment tests now!!

~This has been a report from The Egg.

Note: This is completely made-up from some of the people (Mrs. Wong and Hannah), the AFR test and circumstances. I just wanted to be silly, that’s all! 😀