Message In Stanza

Poetry and Musings

Not a minute too soon
I see the snow is turning to ice
My plans are solidifying

The drink is sweating
I must move now
But this gravity I’m fighting

I’m a mouse looking for a way outside
But there is something I don’t know
Temptations are everywhere

My hands aren’t tied
My lips aren’t sealed
But I have an itch in my ear

I am listening to all this outside noise
I am yearning for some answers
So I move towards others’ words

But it leaves me empty
It doesn’t happen to apply to me
And I take it over the Lord’s

If the answers lie within
Mine are dormant
Or they are just waking up slowly

I want to open up the blinds of my soul
But they have been asleep too long
Will my eyes adjust to the light within me?

(C) Carly Wiggins 2017


(Ain’t he cute nibbling on that cheese? 😀 I know, I am weird for thinking mice are adorable. I hope everything will string (cheese) together for you today and it will not be a lonely and blue (cheese) day. 😊)

Verbal abuse is a silent plague and the statistics of how often verbal abuse happens is underwhelming. According to Bonnie Lynn Wright, Ph.d, she explains why, “Because people who are mentally abused tend to blame themselves for being abused, they do not report the abuser. We build our perception of ourselves through the response and input from others. Mental abusers are very good at making their victims believe they are inferior, to blame for everything that’s wrong in their lives, inadequate, and on and on. It takes a lot of insight, hard personal work and distance from the abuse to see yourself in any other way. “ (Source:

I am not writing this to look needy or helpless but rather shine a light on a topic not talked about enough. So I’ll be sharing part of my story with you guys today. I hope if you have experienced verbal abuse you’ll know that you aren’t alone in the feelings of inferiority and being told that you are playing the “victim role,” if you can’t completely move on. I hope to bring the faith back into your life that everything will work out in the end.

Verbal abuse comes in all shapes and forms. It’s as a bad as physical abuse but you can’t see the scars to show others. It’s not just calling someone, “stupid,” or “fat.” It can go much deeper than that. It can be (like in my case) a teacher giving a student silent treatment because they can’t solve a math problem that had the same concept as a previous problem, just will different numbers.

My teacher never called me stupid but she sure made me feel stupid. I told her that I didn’t understand the concept behind the math problem but she said to me, “You have already enough similar problems like this one, you should get it by now. I’ll be back when you figure it out.” But I waited 10 or 20 minutes in this small private school environment and said to her, “I just don’t know. Can you help me? I have tried all different kinds of ways to figure it out.” But she said, “Sorry, I can’t help you. You shouldn’t have figured it out by now.” There’s a big difference between a good teacher that gives a student a chance to grow and figure it out on their own and a teacher giving a student silent treatment. The same problem stumped me enough that my teacher finally helped me through the steps again 30 minutes later, but she got mad at me and slightly raised her tone, because I needed a little extra support that she didn’t have the patience for. I was never about, “just give me the answer.”’I wanted thorough guidance and that’s what great teachers are there for. But never silent treatment mixed with an impatient teacher that doesn’t have time for slow learners. And this lack of math support happened almost every time we need math and she was my math teacher for 3 years. Keep in mind, there was a small secular private school.

I am a smart person but math never came easy to me like other subjects. The concept of long division for the longest time never completely made sense to me in theory. I just remembered the process (because I could remember things easily) but never fully got the “function” of it. And as you know, math builds. So when you don’t understand a concept from before you can’t move forward.

It took many years of relying on God’s grace and faithfulness to get me through emotionally. And I am still growing emotionally and spiritually through this process God has me on. I have the utmost supportive parents and friends but I don’t believe they went through nearly what I went through. I have been told by many well-meaning family members, friends, and even therapists that, “It’s time to move on.” “Forgiveness is the key.” “I am sorry but terrible tragedies happen every day.” To me, it’s like telling a grieving person who recently lost their best friend, “I know it hurts but don’t be selfish and moppy around the house. If you really cared about your best friend you will help out your Uncle around the house (as an example).” I understand that it takes time to heal and there is a time and place to move on. And forgiveness is most definitely a part of my faith but true authentic forgiveness comes from healing hearts first.

But sometimes with verbal abuse, you feel so alone and misunderstood. The verbal abuse it’s like a real nightmare that you can’t awake from. Sometimes verbal abuser are so cunning and crafty that they hid their tactics well. It’s like a magic trick. You know that the magic trick isn’t real but you can’t figure out how they do it.

Have you experienced verbal abuse before? Or do you know someone who has? Why don’t you think more people write about it or even talk about in conversations more?

I believe there is hope though. I am still working with the “aftermath” of it in my mind. So I can’t say it’s easy to move on like turning a switch on. But through therapy, talking to friends about, mediation, etc., there are ways to recover. One of the things that has helped me overcome it has positive self-talk.  For instance, it’s all about looking at the glass half-full instead of half-empty. I was a bubbly kid who had such a positive and innocent look on life and people. But I became more critical after my encounter with this teacher. If a friend tells you, “You look pretty in that shirt.” Don’t overanalyze. I repeat. Don’t overanalyze. You may say, “Thank you,” back. But are you thinking, “Is she saying that I normally don’t look pretty? Or you could be thinking, “Is she just being nice to be nice but doesn’t really mean it?” Take the compliment for what it is. But first step, is taking the compliment. I know it’s easier said than done. If they did have other motives for saying that, this is between them and God. Take your pretty shirt and pray to God about it. 🙂

Here are some Scriptures to give insight into verbal abuse:

  1. “The thief (The devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I (God) have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10 NIV).
  2. “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22 NIV).
  3. “Many words rush along like rivers in flood, but deep wisdom flows up from artesian springs.” (Proverbs 18:4 NIV).

Here are some Scriptures about healing and overcoming verbal abuse:

  1. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18 NIV).
  2. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3-5 NIV).
  3. “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13 ESV).

Would you join me in this quick prayer?

Dear Lord,

Help us overcome and heal from verbal abuse. I know it’s your will Lord to be in “perfect peace.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV). Let us trust in your provision and destiny for our lives again, Lord. It was never your will for this to happen. Help us to completely forget the painful memories locked away in our minds, as well as forgive those who intentionally, or intentionally verbally abused us. Also encourage us to find the resources we need to move on. We love you, Lord. Amen. 🙂

Stay strong and until next time…

God bless!! 🙂 :heart:

Carly (Message In Stanza)

The sweet assurance of a warm friendship
Took an unexpected turn in life
I was still holding to it by the helm
I eventually had to let it go
I no longer wanted to feel overwhelmed

I was crying myself to sleep at night
The sheer turmoil in my soul
During the day I wouldn’t leave my bed
I had to open the windows in my room
To shine a light to the demons in my head

I know these are just temporary places
Our greatest growth comes readily
We just need to hold on to the moving melody
It’s playing in the darkest of spaces

Soon this beautiful dance will end
And the next act will perform
And your past will be fed to the worms
Then Christ and your heart will blend

(C) Carly Wiggins 2017

What are your thoughts on this poem?

This post really “struck” my interest. I am such a science nerd. Lol. Here is an interesting post about lightning from Sparkonit. Check out his awesome blog! 🙂

Lightning is one of the most incredible natural phenomenons and there’s a lot we don’t know about it. Now, a study at Kyoto University, Japan has found that lightning strikes can set off photonuclear reactions in the atmosphere, and the gamma rays – emitted in lightning – react with the air to produce radioisotopes and even positrons (or, anti-electrons) – the antimatter partner of electrons.

via Lightning Creates Antimatter In The Atmosphere – And It’s Powerful Enough To Set Off Nuclear Reactions, Study Finds — Sparkonit

Social competence and the ability to adhere well to the “unwritten” rules of society makes one successful.

But putting time and effort into something but not having the social graces for circumstances can leave one futile. It doesn’t matter if you have the heart of a saint but don’t play the “social game,” you’ll always be one step behind.

You can put little time and effort in a person, project or circumstance and feel lukewarm about it but know how give people what they want (or think they want) and you’ll be “golden.”

…I’ll just be over here waiting for the world to change. (And I am not talking about the John Mayer song.) lol.


I just have to call all of your “awesome.” Some of your have been on the journey with me from practically the beginning (Following Him, Steve Still Standing) and some of my new victims (Kaylaannauthor, DirtyScifiBuddha) are showing their love.

I would love to hear from those listed above as well any other people who like to answer these most random questions. But please keep in mind, random doesn’t mean it isn’t thoughtful. 🙂 I would list my answers too.

  1. Are you more of a compulsive eater or talker? Meaning are you likely to eat when you are feeling the stress or fill the empty noise with your words?
  2. Are you more of a paperback reader, e-reader, or no, I don’t have time when I am reading all these blogs?
  3. What’s more of guilty pleasure for you: sugar, wheat, or dairy?
  4. Do you dance more like no ones watching or do you prefer to dance in front of people to show off your cool moves?
  5. If you could achieve one thing as a writer overnight, what would it be?
  6. Which drama movie out of these do you enjoy the most: A Beautiful Mind, Goodwill Hunting, or The King’s Speech?
  7. Which book do you enjoy more out of these classics: A Catcher in the Rye, The Great Gatsby, or Fahrenheit 451?


My answers:

  1. I definitely like to talk but I probably stress eat more. lol. But I am working on it!
  2. Definitely paperback. I love to feel and smell the pages (as weird as that sounds). 🙂
  3. Sugar. I am addicted to chocolate. Do I need to say more?
  4. I dance all the time alone because I can dance any random way that I want to. 🙂
  5. The assurance that God has given me this dream to touch others, whether He gives me a prophetic dream or a sweet vision on how He is well pleased with me.
  6. Goodwill Hunting. What a great movie! Gotta love the tag team of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. And one of my favorite actors of all time, Robin Williams. He can do comedy and drama so well. RIP.
  7. A Catcher in the Rye. I can’t relate to everything in the book but I always enjoy coming of age books.

What are your answers?

Please feel free to share this post, so you can see your followers’ answer to these questions as well. Keep blogging, baby! 🙂

Carly (Message In Stanza)


There is a fork in the road

What is it I am supposed to learn?

Where am I supposed to turn?

I will take a torch to the flame and burn

I know I am supposed to rise above

But all I want to do is push and shove

I wish I knew who I was, I wish I knew everything

But once I heard a wise person say,

“That will take the seeking and the living out of life”

I have no patience for this

But maybe that leaves me with another learning experience

Because there is another fork in the road

(C) Carly Wiggins 2007


The lights are erratic

But so tempting to fix upon

I was invited

But I didn’t know what I was getting myself into


The vintage machine is spinning these oval delights of joy

People are embracing this new world of neon lights

That they are holding on to

Holding them like slender cylinder fireflies


I am contorting to the rhythms and beats

In this kind of environment

Dancing can seem irregular

But it’s completely on beat


I never had this much merriment and liberation

And I haven’t had a single thing to drink

Or pleasure on the side

Just my friends and I raving

© Carly Wiggins 2017

I know relationships are the only thing we keep after we die

It’s a beautiful thing that’s permeant for all eternity

This idea has conflicted me

It has restricted me

I am drowning in this tumultuous sea


I gave you a life jacket

But I should have saved myself first

In my past relationships that’s how I felt

But now I saved you

Does this mean anything to you at all?

Or did I just hit below the belt?


I need to first work on who I am becoming

God is pleased with this realization

And God has you on a different path than me

No two paths are alike

The best is on its way running


Learning to let go of what I can’t control is an important rule

I can’t control him

I can’t control her

And I can’t control God

But I can control having the expectations of a fool

© Carly Wiggins 2017